i always know the right things to say and the right things to do.
turn away, close the way, and tell you that im through.

but my dependant heart and hunger for you keep me coming back.

imagine the person you have the deepest feelings for no longer feeling the same.
throwing you away, replacing your space with another.

my shadow hasnt left yet, you never gave it time.
..........................................
"you know, honestly, i never knew i could feel like this. you know? i swear im going out of my mind. its like i want to throw myself off of every building in new york. i see a cab and i just wanna dive in front of it because then ill stop thinking about her."
"look, you will. just give it time."
"that's just it. i don't want to. i mean, ive waited my whole life to feel this miserable. i mean, and if this is the only way i can stay connected with her, then... well, this is who i have to be."

-HITCH
................................
some people will spend a huge important chunk of time with you until they become a part of you. one minute, you're enjoying your life, and the next you're wondering how you ever lived without them.

then, sometimes they change their mind. they lose the feelings for you they once had, or maybe find something else they want instead.

some people are lucky enough to be with their first love for the rest of their life.

what they dont understand is that when you lose someone you had a deep love for, you may do "stupid" things to fix the hurt. like waiting around for them to come back. taking them back when they hurt you. whatever it may be, it doesnt make sense to anyone looking in from the outside.

when you lose them, you lose parts of yourself. like building blocks were suddenly pulled from parts of you, making you collapse. it takes a long time, sometimes forever to put yourself back together. you look at yourself differently. you look at other people differently.

its not other people that can fix you. only yourself. encouragement doesnt really help. only time heals.

some people are emotional disasters. but how can they not be? :)